By now, you’ve been introduced to the awesomeness that is the Venomtech. To be sure, the Venomtech is unlike any OTF you’ve ever beheld. Perhaps your first thought upon seeing it was something along the lines of, “WTF?”
If you’re wondering why you should get a Microtech Venomtech, wonder no more. Here are the reasons why you need the Venomtech in your life.
10 Reasons Why You Should Get a Venomtech
1. Can’t make up your mind between a fixed blade, an OTF, or a sword? Don’t worry, the Venomtech supports indecisiveness—nay, encourages it. With the Venomtech, you get all three in one freakishly awesome blade.
2. Does it pain you to wait hundredths of a second for your OTF to fire? While you may have a serious problem that requires therapy, the Venomtech welcomes your impatience. Rather than waiting for the blade to fire, use the dwarf blade that’s already sticking out of the handle.
3. Are you the coolest spouse/sibling/child/friend ever? If so, you really can’t afford not to get a Venomtech for that special someone. Failing to do so might leave an opportunity for someone else to swoop in and steal your “coolest spouse/sibling/child/friend” title that you’ve worked so hard to earn.
4. Do you enjoy eating like a caveman? The next time you’re ravenously tearing into that steak, use your Venomtech as a knife or a fork—it will increase your manliness by an increment of infinity.
5. Are you a hopeless people pleaser? The Venomtech is your answer. It appeals to those who like “cute” knives when it’s closed and the rest of the population when it’s open.
6. Are you tired of being able to butter bread only a little bit at a time? Slather your Venomtech blade with butter, and you can miraculously butter a whole loaf of French bread with just a few swift, yet laborsome motions.
7. Is there someone ridiculously annoying in your life? Nothing clears a room faster than the clickity clack of an OTF deploying and retracting over and over and over again. You’re welcome.
8. We all know there are fruit ninjas running around aimlessly, chopping fruit to their hearts’ content. With the Venomtech’s double-edged blade, you can slice fruit from any direction you like, but don’t worry—it will still be a pointless activity that wastes perfectly good quantities of fruit.
9. Do you need an edge over your coworker and that fancy letter opener he’s always bragging about? One look at your Venomtech is all it will take to get you some respect in the office.
If you still need more reasons, you best check out these amazing videos Mark and Jaron released yesterday: