I’m betting you’ve heard of the “First World Problems” memes that float around online, as well as the derivations of them. I looked around, and do you know what? I didn’t see any “Knife Addict Problems” anywhere. I thought it would be interesting (and entertaining) to do a post on the problems knife addicts face, so take a look and add to the problems listed below. These are meant to have truth to them, but to be humorous as well. What problems do you encounter as a knife addict?
Knife Addict Problems:
- All I have for food is Ramen because of my new knife
- This knife is perfect, but the pocket clip has the wrong orientation
- I only have room for a phone or a second knife in my other pocket
- (Internal Conflict) I’m excited about my new knife, but I’m scared my wife will find out about it. I want to use it, but I also want to hide it…
- I’m bored with all the knife reviews because I’ve already seen them all
- I had to tape together a receipt I needed because I already did a sharpness test on it
- They keep making more knives… so I have to buy more…
- I can’t use the lanyard hole on my tip-down carry
- Some guy asked if I got my 250-dollar knife from Walmart
- It’s not socially acceptable to open and close your knife repeatedly at work
- I have more knives than I have places to put them
- Saying, “Oh, I thought you said you did want me to buy more knives,” isn’t flying anymore
- I’m running out of arm hair. And paper.
- I can’t express my affinity for knife culture without getting concerned looks
- Every knife is in stock except the one I want
So tell us; what problems have you encountered because of your knife addiction?
For further help in coping with your knife addiction, follow our three step guide.