Soooo… here’s a little background for this post. I can’t remember if I’ve said this before, but I’m a runner. I did cross country, track, and off-season training all year, every year through high school, and I still run now. Because of this, I love the “you know you’re a runner if…” posts that float around online. A couple of my favorites:
You know you’re a runner if…
…your shoes have more mileage than your car.
…you can’t go a day without some little brat saying, “Run Forrest, run!” (So true. Resist the urge!)
Anyway, I really enjoy these because I can relate to them. I thought it would be cool to do one for knife enthusiasts because things are funniest when they are relatable. I got some help with this list, but it’s meant to be added to. I want to see what you guys can come up with, so please comment—I feel like the more perspectives there are, the more entertaining this list will be, and the more it will hit home for people. Have at it!
You Know You’re a Knife Enthusiast If…
- …the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word “tang” is not the orange drink.
- …you can pronounce ESEE, Tony Marfione, and Ka-Bar correctly.
- …pocket size is a determining factor when you pick out new jeans.
- …you don’t flinch when someone fires an automatic knife within two feet of you.
- …you know the words onion, shallot, leek, scallion, and chive have something in common, and it’s not just that they’re foods.
- …you’ll go to a dumb movie just because you heard there’s a knife in it.
- …knives are in your dreams far more often than your nightmares.
- …“hair-shaving sharp” has taken on a literal meaning in your life.
- …you can’t (or don’t want to) answer the question “how many knives do you own?” with exactness.
- …you can infer a lot about a person by what knife he or she is carrying.
- …you actually look at knife specifications.
- …you find yourself on one side or the other in the never-ending tip-up/ tip-down battle.
- …you die a little inside when someone thinks spending more than $40 on a knife is outlandish.
- …you’ve found that you know more types of steel than a welder.
- …the list of famous people you want to meet consists of knife makers, not actors.
- …you see that Todd Begg has a 3-year waiting list and say, “Hey, that’s not bad.”
- …you laugh when knife muggles ask you why you need more than one knife.
- …you know words Spell Check doesn’t know, like choil, jimping, ricasso, and spanto. Stupid Spell Check…
- …you’ve ever used the word “only” before stating the number of knives you own. (I only have 40 knives…)
- …when you accidentally cut yourself, you think, “I felt some drag on that… Time to break out the sharpener.”
- …owning a butterfly makes you more hardcore, not less.
- …it’s plausible to you that Chris Reeve is Superman in real life, not just in the movie.
- …there’s no end to your knife collection in sight because you understand that knives are like snowflakes; each one is unique.
- …you don’t get what’s so confusing about throwing around OTF, EDC, or ZT in everyday conversation.
- …you shop at Blade HQ.
(Here are more additions, provided by our wonderful Facebook followers. Be sure to check out the comments at the bottom of this post, too!)
- …all your friends can tell when you’ve got a new knife because your arms are blald. -Mike Pantalone Jr.
- …you can articulate the difference between S30V and S35. -Joseph Blow
- …someone asks you for a knife and you pull a cheapo beater out of your pocket because, “Aww Hell no… You ain’t touching my Sebenza!” : ) -Martin Garcia
- …you specifically hunt knives at antique shops or yard sales : ) -Dan Cartwright
- …you have more pictures of your knives than your kids on your Instagram account! -Vincent Balagot
- …you call out specific knives in movies. -Steve Kanalos
- …you seek out things to cut to test out a new knife or blade steel. -Nathan Mills
- …the only time you don’t have a knife on you is when you aren’t wearing pants. -Keith Robert Walters
- …you use knives to open packages of more knives! -Eric Hsieh
- …you find ourself opening and closing folders while watching videos. -Andy Huynh
- …you instantly think of a knife instead of stationery when hearing the term “folder.” -Andy Huynh
- …you’re late every morning because it takes you 20 minutes to figure out which knife you wanna carry that day. -Nathan Mills
- …you carry more knives than you can hold at once. -Long Nguyen
- …someone says “Tom” (instead of Tony Marfione) and we still know what you are talking about! -Damon Stelly with the help of a BHQ typo : )
- …your silverware drawer is full of old EDCs… well at least mine is, where the hell else do I put them? -Louis Ferris
How do you know you’re a knife enthusiast?